guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
