and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
