so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
