The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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