so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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