ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
