There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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