This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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