cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize