just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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