im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
