Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
