I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
and i looked up. we had an audience...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
