i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
