Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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