He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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