he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't think brook has ever known best
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
