Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I love having hate sex.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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