did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
