she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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