the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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