awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
now i know why i became what i already was.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
