Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
