Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
