Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
