Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
