What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
