Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
