fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
