i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
what day is it and did you see me today?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
