Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize