I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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