what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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