is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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