I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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