Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
