so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
