i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
