so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
