She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize