your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
