In the future we'll all be gay
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
