He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
