I hate all girls vehemently.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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