So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
