If i come over, it means nothing
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
