If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
