I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
