I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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