it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
