We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize