professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
