ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
