Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
