Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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