you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
