At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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