After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
