who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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