Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
