so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
