it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
