Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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